May 22, 1999
Today is the next day of the rest of my life.
That statement is what my counselor and I talked about this past week. I didn't write last week because I was involved with other things and getting ready for finals. My final finals.
Today at about 5:PM I will have completed my requirements, danced down the isle, gotten a piece of paper (not my diploma), and been told that I am a graduate of the University of Minnesota, Duluth with degrees in both Psychology and Indian Studies. And I did it for me.
Yes the things that led me to this point were not of my doing - the Navy crippling me, the decisions to move here (partly mine), the feeling that I couldn't continue being an engineer anymore. Most of those things I had little or no choice in. This I did.
And to think that 2 weeks ago today I was planning on turning in my papers to quit and come back sometime in the next few years. 2 weeks ago.
I am part of a very elite group now also. This is the largest graduating class of Indians from UMD ever and as a tribute to that we all received Eagle feathers. Not something that you just go out and pick up. According to the Department of the Interior, it is a felony to possess an Eagle feather unless you are a Native American and you received it in conjunction with a religious act. Would you go to jail if you had one other wise, probably not. But those of us who received one this past week did so because of our accomplishment.
We plan on all wearing special sashes and our feathers to make us stand out. A good friend said at the cerimony that "We are not looking for special recognition, nor are we saying that we are better than anyone else, but that we are still here after all the attempted extermination, forced relocation, we are still here. We are not better than anyone, but we are Indian and we are still here. We are growing stronger and we are coming back in force."
It is an honor to be Indian and I expect that everyone should be proud of their heritage. I found out many things about myself in the past years, and I found out that my faults are more numerous than I care to admit. But now I can talk about the things I know and I have a piece of paper to back it up.
A professor told me that I did the minumum and passed the standardized tests to qualify for that diploma. He is right. But that is how the world views you and how the majority of the world judges you, ny what you have saying what you have. Not by what you do or say. I'm looking to change that.
But for now, and for today this is my day. I did this for me and no one else. I will use it to do all I can to help others, but I did it just for me, I accomplished this just for me. And I like the feeling.
The other degrees I got were just that. Degrees that I got, to take care of my responsibilities and not for me, not this time.
I thank publicly all the people that helped me, all the men and women at UMD that helped guide me and helped knock me in the head and keep me in school those times I wanted to quit. And I thank my daughter for putting up with me while I did. Now its time to find a job and take care of her and myself. Anyone have any ideas?
Take care.